A little old lady walked into Chase Manhattan Bank and asked if she could open an account.
“Of course,” said the manager. “How much would you like to deposit?”
“Three million dollars,” replied the old lady.
The manager gasped. “That’s a great deal of money. How will you transfer it into the account?”
“In cash. I have it in this bag. See for yourself, if you like.”
The manager peered into the plastic bag, which held quite a few packets of crisp green notes. This was highly unusual, and he decided to inform the president of the bank, who duly invited the old lady into his office to deal with the matter in person.
The president was charm itself. He had tea and biscuits brought for the bank’s valuable new client.
“If I may ask, where did you come by this money?” the president inquired.
“Gambling,” replied the old lady.
He was surprised. “What sort of gambling?”
“Oh, I bet people on all sorts of things, and I usually win. For instance I wager a hundred thousand dollars that by noon tomorrow your balls will be square. And I’ll give you four to one. Have you got twenty-five thousand dollars to put down?”
The president was almost speechless.
“It wouldn’t be moral of me to take your money, because I’m afraid there is no way you can win that bet.”
“Well, if you won’t take the bet, I begin to wonder whether this bank is the right place for my money.”
The president by no means wanted to lose his client.
“Let’s not be hasty,” he said. “Very well, I accept your wager, since you are absolutely sure.”
“Absolutely,” declared the little old lady. “And don’t you worry about me. I know what I’m doing. Tomorrow at a quarter to twelve.”
That same night the bank president woke every hour to check that his balls had not gone square. Everything in that regard was in order. At a quarter to twelve the next day the little old lady arrived at the bank with her lawyer.
“My lawyer is here as a witness,” she explained, when they entered the president’s office.
On the stroke of twelve the president declared that he had won the bet, but the little old lady asked him to drop his trousers so she could be sure. The banker complied. She felt him and stated that his balls were not square.
“I suppose you win the bet,” said the lady, and handed him the hundred thousand dollars.
Meanwhile the lawyer had begun banging his head against the wall.
“What’s the matter with him?” asked the bank president.
“Leave the poor wretch alone,” replied the little old lady. “You see, I bet him a million dollars that by noon today I would have the president of Chase Manhattan Bank by the balls!…”